Samsara: Chapter 1 – Amelie “In the Present of Time”


        He invaded the sequence of my dream uninvited. He appeared in a window frame. I approached him without hesitation and I knew without being told that we only had seconds. I did not know who he was, but my soul knew him. His face, this time, was not truly his. He came in a form of a boyish man, but behind his eyes I recognized his soul. My hand reached up to his face as if I’ve done this before a million times in a lifetime of lives that memory cannot recall, and only my soul know its secrets. I longed for him. My soul ached and longed for this person that I had no idea I longed for. He whispered “dream of another dream. Dream of another place, and I will be there. I will find you. I have to go.” He could not say more. He held on to my hands and that’s all he needed to tell me. His touch told me he should not have invaded my dreams. He would not have revealed himself to me this way, but he had no choice. He was not allowed I was not supposed to see him.

         Our souls were not allowed to intertwine in this life—even through a landscape of a dream. I am not the same when I woke up. Who is he? Am I going mad? In the depths of my soul as it recognized his—something stirred from its slumber. There is something that has woken from the depth of my being where I may have kept something hidden.

            Who are you? Where are you? Who am I? Where am I? Did I choose to hide from you? Was I taken and stripped from you? Were our souls separated in this life as a lesson? Did you and I decide this?

            Whoever you are.

            Wherever you are,

            Whatever it was we decided to do in this life,

            All I know is the one truth from seeing you.

            I love you like no other in this life.

            I have loved you in all our other lives.



Present Time

Amelie forces her eyes open to the alarm clock beeping at 5:45 a.m. It’s a Saturday and the alarm clock should not have gone off. However, she is grateful for waking up from a dream that she couldn’t understand. She turns over to see Eli sound asleep. She wraps her arms around his waist and listens to his breathing. This is my husband. What was that dream about? Eli continues to sleep unaware of how her heart felt like when it was pounding a million beats over. She looked at the Eli’s profile and attempted to negate the emotion she was feeling from her dream to her husband. He is the love of my life. This is the man who I will grow old with. She continues to tell herself. But, who was the man in her dream? She felt her heart beat faster as if she couldn’t breathe the air around her. Her eyes begin to well up with tears that she could not understand. No, this was just a dream. He was no one. Amelie decided to get up and get ready for the day.

In the bathroom she stares at herself and looks deep into her own reflection. She sees a woman who recently turned 35 years old, and even though everyone tells her that she has a beauty that doesn’t age, Amelie believes herself to be quite average. Dark chestnut hair that oftentimes turns black in the winter, her olive fair skin have done her well and there are barely any wrinkles that should begin to show. Her deep-set shape eyes are indicative of her mixed background: English, Italian, Japanese, Spanish—her ancestry is a mixture of all that is not expected. She used to joke with Eli that her parents decided to mix every possible background in their DNA so that they could not be identified. As she looks into her hazel eyes, she wonders why are there a million questions running through her mind? Realizing that she is talking to herself, she shakes her head to wake herself up even more. She looks down and notices that her dog is sitting by her feet looking up at her. Even he knows something is up. She thought. Buggy continues to look at her as if he knew that she just returned from a place that she should not have gone. What is the matter with me? Snap the hell out of it already.

She heard Eli stir himself awake, and she begins brushing her teeth, and starts to think of her to-do list and the schedule she has set up for the day. As she thinks of the things she needs to accomplish, her own voice in her head keeps telling her that she should not have seen him. Her heart, on the other hand, begins to feel an awakening shift that she cannot understand.

         Where are you? Who are you?

Amelie shakes her head once more to clear her mind of her own voice and the questions it’s asking her.

5 thoughts on “Samsara: Chapter 1 – Amelie “In the Present of Time”

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