Chasing Cars.

We’ll do it all
Everything
On our own

We don’t need
Anything
Or anyone

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

I see you every now and then. When I close my eyes, and silence surrounds the empty shell that a part of me has become. You’re standing in a distance. I am thinking of all those years where the rhythm of our breaths can be seen in our walk, heard through our speech, and timed with our touch. Life was you.

I don’t quite know
How to say
How I feel

Those three words
Are said too much
They’re not enough

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

As I’m walking towards you, my fingers grace the wheat field that surrounds me. The path is clear, and I’ve forgotten all that had been. I see you staring off in the distance. Your hands in your pocket. The wind blowing through the strands of your hair. The words I’d say to you will never be enough to explain all the reasons.

Forget what we’re told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that’s bursting into life

Let’s waste time
Chasing cars
Around our heads

I need your grace
To remind me
To find my own

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

After endless lifetimes, I am attempting to remember your face. I can only remember how it felt when I held your face in my hands, and no words were ever exchanged between us. I only had to look at you to know.  That was all that needed to be said.  Did we ever get to grow old together? Or did we always fall apart in the tragic end?

Forget what we’re told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that’s bursting into life

All that I am
All that I ever was
Is here in your perfect eyes, they’re all I can see

Do you remember when I returned each time, and you were the sanctuary waiting for me? The world would never write about those who altered history. We were forgotten among humanity’s short term memory.  The only memories I have were always when I cradled your face in my arms. Your blood soaked through as I felt the life drain from your being.

I don’t know where
Confused about how as well
Just know that these things will never change for us at all

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

If the lives with you had been filled with the magnificent, the glorious, the sadness, and the vile–let me have one life of peace is all I ask. A life of my own. A life filled with endless questions, and a never ending quest for clarity.

A life without you.

 

 

Chasing Cars lyrics by Snow Patrol