As a writer, I always find a theme in everything–this notion of an underlying similarity shaped by so many unexplained elements.

This week, I realized that I’ve spent a great deal of time with dear friends. Saturday night was dinner with a set of close friends. Sunday was brunch with my co-worker/friend. Tuesday night was dinner with another set of close friends. There I was sitting across from every one of them as we talked about the many things that encompasses our lives.

Here’s what I’ve learned:

~There is never one true answer to our questions.

~It’s never about the things that occur to us that we had no control over–it’s about the choice we make on how to deal with them, and the lessons we’ve learned from such choices.

~The SELF–and preserving this self is the most essential component in life. Without it–the risk for losing one self comes at a great cost. It’s alright when we do lose ourselves from time to time–but it’s how we find who we are that becomes significant.

~To let go of the past completely, and to understand how the past shaped you is the only way to comprehend how to move forward.

~We’ve all dated narcissistic assholes. They often lack “couth” in their mannerism, and such short fall is evident in the way they speak, and treat–not just the women in their lives, but all women in general.

~We’ve also dated and loved genuinely kind-hearted men. They possess the understanding for empathy, kindness, generosity, and respect for humankind.

~If the only examples of relationships we’ve had were unhealthy ones–it is within our choice to ensure that we never find ourselves in the same situation ever again.

~That kindness, compassion, thoughtfulness, and generosity are the core foundations in life. When you see people lose sight of such things–they become resentful.

~And, finally–that daisies are a symbol of new beginnings; beginnings that every single one of us are capable of pursuing–no matter how old we are.

If in fact, there is one underlying theme that occurred in all of my past lives, I know for sure that it would have been being surrounded by remarkable women–and, I, merely a witness observing them in all of their glory.

Here’s to the beautiful souls whose friendships are the pillar of loyalty and strength in this life.

Poems from Cara Alwill Leyba’s “Stripped”

 

The Work of You

No one is coming

to save you,

to give you permission

to choose you,

or validate you.

This has always

been your job.

Your must love yourself

so fiercely

and fully

that you have no other choice

but to be strong

for yourself,

to fight for yourself

to be yourself,

and to build yourself.

Now

The most beautiful gift

you can give to yourself

is the gift of

transforming your pain.

The gift of melting

your weary anger into love.

The gift of molding

your lasting heartache into passion.

The gift of sewing

your weeping sorrow into celebration.

And the gift of realizing

that your past

does not define you.

And it never did.

And it never will..